FORT

Well today is day two of making a list. This list is of things I am grateful for (once again no judging). I have decided to limit it to 10 things, so the first 10 I think of will be written so some of them may sound funny:

1. Having an amazing family.
2. Religion.
3. Being able to stick to my values.
4. All the different people and options we have in life.
5. Grey's Anatomy.
6. Having support from the people I love.
7. Having the opportunity to follow my dreams.
8. Being understanding and having others who understand.
9. All the people who were here before us, that made life the way it is now.
10. College for making me more independent, meeting amazing people, and helping me get to where I need to go.

As I'm looking back on this list I realize most my stuff I thought of was heartfelt. Then, Grey's Anatomy is thrown on there lol. I said it was whatever came to mind though. Sense we are on the subject of being grateful. Earlier I was thinking of working on a project. It will take a while and hopefully I could get it all done before New Years. I would like to make peace with everyone and tell the people I am close to right now how much they mean to me. I have not yet decided how to do this though. Maybe through the mail and through facebook. We will see what happens. I just would like to get it done before the new year as a chance to leave differences in the past and dedicate my time to the things that matter to me.

I realized I can be really cold in relationships. As I think about it now, it has nothing to do with what the other person is doing wrong normally. It has to do with me knowing what I want my relationship to be like. I'm a hopeless romantic, but not in the way most people are. If I'm not seeing what I want in a guy that I'm dating I get really iffy about the relationship. I don't mind working things out, but I know what I want and I don't want to waist my romantic side. I'm saving all the big things until I find they guy I want to spend my life with. I guess I start to push guys out once I see that they don't fit the type of guy I want. It comes of as me being cold and mean, but that really isn't how I am. I just don't know how to react and I know its not going to work so I shut down.

<=============Btw..... I want to try this so bad.