FORT

Well today is day two of making a list. This list is of things I am grateful for (once again no judging). I have decided to limit it to 10 things, so the first 10 I think of will be written so some of them may sound funny:

1. Having an amazing family.
2. Religion.
3. Being able to stick to my values.
4. All the different people and options we have in life.
5. Grey's Anatomy.
6. Having support from the people I love.
7. Having the opportunity to follow my dreams.
8. Being understanding and having others who understand.
9. All the people who were here before us, that made life the way it is now.
10. College for making me more independent, meeting amazing people, and helping me get to where I need to go.

As I'm looking back on this list I realize most my stuff I thought of was heartfelt. Then, Grey's Anatomy is thrown on there lol. I said it was whatever came to mind though. Sense we are on the subject of being grateful. Earlier I was thinking of working on a project. It will take a while and hopefully I could get it all done before New Years. I would like to make peace with everyone and tell the people I am close to right now how much they mean to me. I have not yet decided how to do this though. Maybe through the mail and through facebook. We will see what happens. I just would like to get it done before the new year as a chance to leave differences in the past and dedicate my time to the things that matter to me.

I realized I can be really cold in relationships. As I think about it now, it has nothing to do with what the other person is doing wrong normally. It has to do with me knowing what I want my relationship to be like. I'm a hopeless romantic, but not in the way most people are. If I'm not seeing what I want in a guy that I'm dating I get really iffy about the relationship. I don't mind working things out, but I know what I want and I don't want to waist my romantic side. I'm saving all the big things until I find they guy I want to spend my life with. I guess I start to push guys out once I see that they don't fit the type of guy I want. It comes of as me being cold and mean, but that really isn't how I am. I just don't know how to react and I know its not going to work so I shut down.

<=============Btw..... I want to try this so bad.

WAKE UP!!!

I have an exam at 6, so I am trying to stay awake. Idk what is wrong with me right now, but all I want to do is sleep. I will go to take a nap and wake up 9 hours later. I have been sleeping through alarms and stuff again. I can not miss this exam, I am already nervous about this class. I don't know how I am doing in it right now. To keep me awake I figured I would write a blog.

I found an article about 50 lists your should write to lift your spirits, so I will start trying to write on in each blog. The first list will be people who inspire me (btw this is off the top of my head and in no order so no judging):

1. Mom
2. Dad (step mom and step sisters too)
3. Aunt and Uncle
4. Grandma and Grandpa
5. My cousins (especially my adorable god child)
6. Some famous people (to many to count)
7. People on inspiring shows/movies
8. My friends (sometimes lol)
9. Anyone who dares to be themselves and not let the world make them someone they aren't
10. Old friends and boyfriends (even the ones I no longer talk to)

Though I would like to say more specifically the people who inspire me, I decided to restrain from doing that. I know who i was thinking of when I wrote the list and I wanted to keep it to 10 things or people. Chances are all my good friends have inspired me in some way :).

<------ Idk why, but I found this to be really funny. You might not, but that sucks because I did lol. Yepp..... These are some funny fellows lol.

Does anyone ever find themselves writing a paper and thinking that something is funny, but when they go to laugh they write lol instead of actually laughing. I did that today in English class. I found it pretty funny. 

Dreaming

Well I decided to blog early today, because I know if I wait I will probably forget again. I wanted to tell about my dream. It was really really really weird. Apparently my professors were giving me my grades before the last few weeks to see how I was doing. My mom and aunt were there and looked at it. I was getting a 32% in my Meteorology class (which I know I'm not doing good in right now) and a C in Psychology (which I'm also not doing the best in). Somewhere in the dream I got told I was going to die (I don't remember that part I just remember that I was dying). Then my mom and aunt started to freak out at me about my grades. I stood there for a few minutes and let them be mad. After, I stopped them and told them school was not the end of the world and it was just a tool to get me where I needed to be. I continued to preach about how my time would be better spent helping the world and caring about the people around me than sitting in a classroom all day. I told them I wanted to be in a Christian school and cared nothing about the life I was living right now basically. They were shocked by my reaction. As I get older I think I'm realizing more about the true potential people have. It was really weird for me to dream about that though, because normally I'm not the type to fail classes and if I did I think I would be a lot more disappointed.

I would like to be able to rewatch this dream because I know there was more to it. 

Random thing I enjoy in life: Getting a hug from one of your students when you haven't been there in a few weeks :).

Random thing I don't enjoy: Eating something delicious and getting a really nasty tasting bite that makes you not want to eat it anymore.

Song of the day: Jesus Freak

What in the world is going on?

I have not wrote a blog in a while (according to my friends blog anyway). I guess I will write one now then lol. I have a lot of things I can and probably will rant about at some point (maybe in this blog or later). I slept almost all day, so staying up for a while is not a problem. I just need to make sure to take my quiz after this.

I had a old friend come up and spend the night last night.It was interesting watching him try to learn swing dancing (which I need to start doing). Plus playing tag as we tried to find each other at the community college near by was interesting to. My night was definitely an interesting one.

PASSION OF THE CHRIST is a movie that I encourage people to watch. When I was little by Dad told me he was going to see it and encouraged me to watch it when I got older. I am definitely glad I waited till now to watch it. I cried for most of the movie. Seeing people in pain (especially if they did nothing wrong) is not exactly my strongest moment. Yea it's a really good movie though.

ELLEN is awesome and always has been. I don't have time to watch her shows, so sometimes I watch the videos on Youtube. The ones where she is scaring people are really funny. I suggest looking some of them up because they are going to make your day better :). 

I will make one rant, it's kinda about being innocent lol. I have heard a lot of stuff from friends and others, yet I happen to still be innocent. Does anyone still get caught off guard by people being people. I mean like by the actions they take. I will be sitting there and think ohhh..... there is not much they could do to surprise me anymore. But something happens that has never even crossed you mind. You get a text or see something that just makes you go "What in the world is going on?" You feel like your in a really messed up dream, but it's actually real lol.

I have a lot to do before classes end this semester. There are a few weeks left. Hopefully I can get everything done that I need to. I'm looking forward to hanging with the group tomorrow and saturday. I have a million applications to fill out, papers to write, and exams to take. 

Just wanna sleep!!

Well I have been home for the first time in forever. Thanksgiving was not bad. Idk if it's still the concussion or what. I have been feeling like I'm dying the past few days. I just wanna go to sleep, but apparently I can't because I don't feel good. This needs to get better ASAP. I would go to the doctor again, but I don't wanna have to call in for work. I already called off last weekend because I went to the hospital for the concussion.

I got to spend sometime with my cousins and god child today, so that was nice. We went to see clash of the guardians or something. I almost left before it because I didn't feel good, but somehow I managed to make it through the movie. I miss spending time with the little ones. They are so adorable.

Well no sleep means...... Random fact time. In middle school I was on the basketball team for the year. Most the people on the team were part of the popular crowd and I wasn't. I was kinda shy and didn't really care about the drama. Anyway I got passed the ball during a game and I wanted to prove myself. For those of you who know me it is not uncommen for me to have dumb moments. I wasn't paying attention and decided to try to go for the wrong hoop :P.

 <------- Just cute lol.

Not perfect

Well for starters I still have a concussion. I figured out I am not the most responsible person when I have a concussion. Needless to say, the things I would normally do are not the same as the things I do when I have a concussion. I'm starting to see things clearer now though.

I went on a prayer walk today and I really loved it. The people I went with seemed like an awesome group. As you walked it was like a conversation with each other as well as with God. We walked around campus and I took the lead. Today was pretty inspiring.... when I had the ability to focus and stay awake anyway. 

One thing I would like to discuss is being yourself. In today's world Christians are labeled as hypocrites and all these bad things. I will admit that I am not perfect and I think the true problem is that Christians don't dare to say they don't have everything together. Religion is not about being perfect, but it is about accepting that you are not. I accept others for the people they are and I accept myself for my flaws. My life is about becoming better and trying to improve. With that being said, each time I blog I would like to answer some questions about me and my life in general.

Yes I make mistakes daily and I have just as many challenges to face as any other person. Yet I think it's important to do your best every day. Make a difference, make a change, at least make something out of the time you have on earth. 

<====== If you look at the world and at life as a beautiful place, you will discover the things that make it beautiful. Look at the good in everything else. This is a challenge and I would love to look at the world like this everyday. 

BELIEVE in something bigger than you!!!!!!!!!!

I'm Dangerous.

          IMMA DIE!!!! Idk what it is, but the past week I have been accident prone. Mostly at work. I have got at least five cuts. One of the cuts is really deep and I should probably go get it checked out. It doesn't look like its going to heal :/. Today I am almost done with my shift and I stand up. Well guess where my head ends up. Right into the metal door of the overhead freezer. My manager looks at me funny as I stumbled for a second and try not to face plant the floor..... HE THOUGHT I WAS DANCING!!!! I was like no I hit me head lol. Sense I was distracted by work I didn't notice how hard I actually hit me head.  I have a feeling I might have a concussion, which  means I shouldn't go to sleep. On the down side I have work again at 12 tomorrow. Which means I need to go to sleep. Ugh this choice is a hard one. The bump on my head is like the size of an egg. 

        My Friday night was pretty awesome. I hung out with an amazing group of friends. Hopefully they had fun as well :). TWILIGHT was amazing, but I kept almost crying. The mother and daughter scenes were getting to me. Giving up your daughter and/or being scared for your daughters life would be a terrible feeling. I just kinda related to Bella. The slide show at the end got to me too. I guess it was just so sweet and romantic lol. I'm a sucker for romantic stuff..... just keep it on the down low :P. Most people probably wouldn't label me the romantic type.

       A few big things have happened sense I last blogged. I decided to hand in my 2 weeks notice at work..... That is if work doesn't kill me first. I felt like its not where I belong right now and my heads in other places. I worked at my old place and loved it. It was about brightening peoples days and I felt like I was making a difference. I want to have that feeling again. I want to do volunteer stuff and hopefully once I get out of college I will be able to go on a volunteer trip to another state. I would be gone for 4 months at the least. 

       I have almost completed my observation class and I feel that I will miss it. Rushing around everyday will be over though. As much as I loved observing I know I didn't have the time for it with school. Now I will have more time to get my school work done.

        Though I have lots more to say I will save it for tomorrow. Screw concussions, I will be going to sleep. I'll be fine in the morning. I'm normally playing with when it comes to my health, so I'm not worried. It's just another day of being me :P.

Long Nights

Well I haven't blogged in a while. I was trying to blog everyday, but I got distracted (which should not be surprising to anyone). A lot has happened since my last post. I don't have time to talk about most of it.

Olan Rogers on youtube is funny. LOOK HIM UP. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZO9tMetxno I have only seen a few of his videos. Watch the one I posted. You will love it.

Last night I went out with awesome people. I was having a night where everything I said came out wrong, so they will probably joke with me about it forever. We were at a swing dancing thing and I was watching. We were talking about what guy we would dance with. What I decide to say is, "I would do all of them." Later, someone said whip.... Needless to say I was zoned out and said, "Whipps? I like whips!!!" Ash was texting people on my phone and asked what I wanted her to say (she was talking really loud), I told her she was being loud (which had nothing to do with that he was texting about), she goes "you want me to text him that?"

Jacobi and Hope came up. They are two very interesting people. Hope was crabby, which was interesting lol. I miss them and can't wait to hang with them again. I got stuck in a locker which was interesting.

I have been doing homework, work, and observations pretty much all the time. Except when I have time to go hang with people for a few hours. I think I might become an E-Board member too. That will be interesting and really time consuming. We will see what happens.

<--------I do this a lot lately!!!! Whoops lol.