Craft/Paranoid.

Just got back from seeing The Guilt Trip. I went with my mommy. The movie reminded me of her and I. It was funny and crazy (kinda bad acting at parts). I would suggest watching it with your parents if anyone wants to check it out. If I chose to go on a road trip with my mom (which we have talked about doing), Idk where we would go. I would like to take a road trip to New York next year right before New Years. I would leave a few days after Christmas and make a lot of stops along the way. I might go with friends (If I have any). We will see what happens lol.

I did not get to sleep until 8 this morning. I was being paranoid about everything. I was even scared to go pee because I thought something was going to bite my butt. I was hyper and kept thinking I was hearing things. I know I am crazy, don't judge me lol. I finally fell asleep when my mom woke up and the sun came out.

<===== This is me when I am paranoid. It is actually really funny to watch I bet.

Last night I made an amazingly cute bracelet. It took me almost 3 hours to make. A long process, but I like making my own stuff sometimes :). I was never labeled as the crafty person (because one of my best friends was really amazing at drawing, painting, etc. I didn't want to copy her, so I decided to help her with projects and let her be the crafty one).

No I am off to make some random food/dessert thing with Hopey, so I hope everyone has a good night. Me cooking will be scary :P.

Demi and Dreams

I didn't go to sleep tonight. I managed to miss going to bed, so I guess I just didn't. I did the same thing last night. I have been really hyper for the past hour or so. My mom got up to go to work and we had some fun joking and talking and stuff before she left :).

I took some naps throughout the day, but during my naps I had some of the weirdest dreams. One dream was that my tooth had a cap on it and the cap had a pull string. I accidently pulled it and it started to unwrap (Don't ask me what that means). It was just a really weird one. I had two dreams about guys. They were both different guys and I don't know either of them. One was a new RA (in the dream not real life) and we knew each other. He was over at my dorm talking to the group of us (My old friends/roommates). Everyone else left to go somewhere and the minute they walked out the door he grabbed me and just held me forever. It was really adorable and I woke up thinking how amazing it would be if that happened. The guy was sweet, cute, amazing, and innocent. Ok, back to reality now lol. In the other dream the guy looked a lot different, but had a lot of the same things as the first guy.




I have a really bad habit (which I actually don't find to be a bad habit) of getting really stuck on things. Not in the normal way people think of it though. I mean I get stuck on a book, TV show, singer, etc. Normally it is someone or something I can relate to. Sometimes it is just because I find something interesting. With that being said I think Demi Lovato is amazing right now (I mean she probably is always amazing), but right now she is what I'm stuck on. She has had so many problems that she opened up about. She doesn't pretend to be perfect. She voices who she is and what she went through. She is funny about everything. It is truely inspiring to hear her story and I wish there were more people in the world like that. FOR THE FUNNY VIDEOS CHECK OUT: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9A-fkyv3GI and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdRqviub3Hs (There are more that are not from the X Factor, but I think her and simon are awesome).

Oh the Family!!!

I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas. I will say mine was pretty good, except I felt like I was dying. I guess I had an allergy attack or something and Christmas day I barely said anything. I was glad to be able to see my family. My cousins are amazing and cute. I miss all of them and I can not wait to visit more while I am home. I hope everyone got everything they wanted. I got a new iron and ironing board (which I asked for and still have no idea how to use). I got a new Northface jacket and another nice new Jacket. My mom made me an awesome blanket. I got the Freedom Writers book. I got a lot of other stuff, but I am going to stop listing things lol.

I went to my dads for Christmas Eve which I must admit was fun. We played a game called cards against humanity. I must admit those cards were definitely against humanity lol. My family is a crazy group of people. That game is one dirty game. If you like nasty games I would suggest it lol. I would honestly like to see what happened if me and my friends got our hands on that game. It would either be really funny or a huge disaster. It was funny with my family, plus pretty crazy (which is not surprising). Dinner was awesome and opening gifts was awesome.

We went to see my Aunty Betty a few days before Christmas, which was interesting. She shared a lot of crazy stories about the past. It was interesting to hear about her and my Grandmas crazy adventures. One story included how determained they were to show the boys they could go out and have a good time. Needless to say the story ended in managing to make it home, getting sick, angry husbands, and eventually passing out. My aunt, mom, Betty, and I laughed almost the entire time we were together. My Aunt Betty is someone the would remind me of Lucy (from I Love Lucy). Everytime we are all together there is some crazy adventure or story. Even more crazy is my Aunt Nancy (But we will talk about her another time).

The picture just fits, so I had to put it. It reminds me of many amazing people from my family and in my life. I believe in finding those people in your like that you just fit with. You can be crazy with them and know so much about them. They know your biggest secrets and dumb stories. Idk they just fit with you and are your best friends.

PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!!!!

I should be asleep right now, but I'm watching Phantom of the Opera instead. It is kinda boring at times, so I will be writing the blog during the boring parts. The music is pretty amazing and the story line is good. The movie is just kind of boring. If you would not like to watch it I would suggest looking up the songs. "The Music Of The Night" is a good song. When I was little I remember going to see this play in Toronto. I loved it back then. I had the shirt and the CD for a long time after. THIS CHICK IN THE MOVIE IS SUCH A DIVA. Talk about high maintenance. My goodness.

I know I had been doing list for a while, but I am going to take a break. Idk when or if I will continue to get to 50 lists. Maybe one day I will finish the list of lists. We will see what happens. THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA IS HERE!!!! Sorry I know that was completely off topic lol. It happens. That was a quite interesting part..... The phantom poisoned the diva's water (which made her make funny noises as she sang). It was pretty epic.

This movie just got a lot more interesting. One last thing before I watch it I got my grades:
English: A
Teaching: A
Meteorology: A-
Psychology: B
Statistics: C+

Night

Before I do not do it again, todays list is people that love you. My Mom and Dad and family for sure. I love them all too. I would like to say I know some of my friends do. I'm not going to list people, because I don't want to say names plus I would not like to accidently list the wrong people lol.

I just watched a movie called THE CHANGE UP. It is a pretty good movie. It was funny :). I got the movie abducation too. Idk if I want to watch it now or later. I will probably watch it now. But not yet because I have to finish this blog lol.

Random things that I feel like doing right now: I want to learn to ride a horse, cuddle with my husband (I don't have a husband yet though, so find my future husband and cuddle with him lol), and go ATVing. I know that is the weirdest list of things, but it's ok lol.

 <=======  I agree with this a lot. The night time is when I do a lot of things. It is peaceful and it makes everything more meaningful. Both night and day are beautiful, but we have both for a reason. The quote just says it all lol.

Weird/X-Factor

 I love watching the X-Factor. I probably will not try to continue to watch it. I saw a video on youtube so I looked it up and started watching it. I would encourage anyone who likes music and funny stuff to watch it. At least watch the first season anyway. I think SIMON AND PAULA are amazing together. They are like an awkward and crazy fairytale. I think X-Factor is a lot better than American Idol. People wear the weirdest things though. Honestly I would like to walk up to some of the people and say, "Did your dog pick out what you have on today?" They look like they are a 5 year old who got to pick out their own clothes for the first time.

I will be waking up early tomorrow and I know it's late, but I am watching the X-Factor. GOOD LUCK WAKING ME UP!!!!!! My ringtone is loud though, so chances are I will wake up. It's just a matter of getting me not to go back to sleep.

On a different topic I think we all should be able to be weird. Weird is acceptable. I mean life is weird and people were not made to be normal. Have you ever seen how weird we all actually are. I think everyone should be accepted for their weirdness. If your weirdness doesn't fit with someone elses weirdness, then you need to find someone who fits your weirdness. Ok I hope that made sense to everyone lol. YES!!! I'M WEIRD LOL.

One last thought: Does anyone ever notice that some socks make your feet look like they have a really odd shape?

Shooting?

Well I made Mac and Cheese today with the help of my awesome friend Travis. Going to be leaving the dorm for break tomorrow. I had a lot of junk that I wrote down and was about to post, then I decided to delete it. The most I will say about today is it had its ups and downs. Hopefully things go ok when I am back in my home town. 

One thing I would like to say is about the shooting in Connecticut. How does that even happen? I mean the kid who did it was about the same age as me. He just shoots up and elementary school. What was his reasoning? There is no reason for anyone to do it, but I would hope something had happened to make him do it. They are in my prayers. I wish there was more we could do. Can't the world do something to stop all this hating and heartlessness.

 <==== I wish people could take this advice. 

Goodnight all. Hope you have a good one.

Shy and stuff

Welp I have officially figured out my personality type. I bet you all are dying to know that my personality type is........... SHY!!!! Go figure lol. It's not really a bad thing. I guess I don't even realize I'm being shy anymore. I thought I was being outgoing and people still will be like no you were really shy lol. 

I keep forgetting to blog, especially this week because I had exams and was hanging out with people all week. I will do two lists today, which I have to look up. The next one is.... Reasons why you love your significant other. For starters I have no significant other right now. It would be nice if I found a guy I was interested in soon, but for now I am single.

Next list (hopefully I will be able to write this one). The list is high points of your autobiography. I guess if I were to write a autobiography I could choose some points. Here are the first 10 that come to mind:

1. Going to college.
2. Opening up about being a Christian.
3. Dating a few of the guys I really care about.
4. Some things about my best friends.
5. My family and me.
6. Observation.
7. What I want to do with my future.
8. A little about my high school.
9. My decision to be a teacher.
10. About my mom and I.

 <===== Very true!!!! I do this lol.

Lastly, exams are over now. I finally have a chance to do some things. Break will be good because I will get to hang out with some awesome people when I go home :). I have a lot to do. I will be at my dorm for a few more days to get things situated and go to a Pot Luck tomorrow night. I have to get my ticket taken care of during the day. Tonight I will probably be going to watch movies at Travis's. This will be the last time I can see him before going home.

Ironic/Never love you less

Well me and my mom are a lot alike. I love her to death and she has always been my go to person. We are not perfect and we have a tenancy to fight about stupid stuff (which is a completely different story). Like I said in my blog yesterday I was trying to save a cat. Well my mom apparently saved a dog before she went to work this morning. I picture my mom running around my home town and chasing after this poor scared dog. Without thinking, she took the dog home, set up a kennel in the garage, and gave the dog food and water. As everyone else was mad about the dog being in the street and trying to get to work on time, my mom did the opposite. She was late to work, so she could save the dog. Yes, I know most of you probably think me and my mom are crazy (which we are). Just hopefully we can find the owners of the dog or another good home for the dog to go to. I said I would look for a home and my mom is going to wait to make any other decisions until I come home from break. I will say my mom doing these amazing things everyday is the reason I turned out to be such a good and caring person.

Things you want your children to know about you (this is the list for today): I honestly would like my children to know anything and everything about me. If they want to ask I will tell them. Probably the most important thing that I will want them to know and I will tell them every time something bad happens (even if I am mad or disappointed in them). Nothing they could ever do would make me love them less. I think as long as they know this they will always have someone to come to and it will give them the freedom to talk to me about anything.

Cat and Stats

First off anyone like statistics? I mean I'm pretty good at it.... Until I get to the more complicates Z-Score formulas and Hypothesis Testing. When it comes to those topics it just doesn't work. I will master them before I go to sleep though. That is my goal for the rest of the night. There must be some key point to doing these things that I have been missing.

Today's list is acts of kindness you have committed. Throughout the course of my blogging I might share some of these stories with you all. I am proud of the things I have done in my life and doing things to help others makes me happy. With that being said I feel I did those things because I cared and I wanted to, not to brag about them. I know making a list wouldn't be bragging, but it just doesn't feel right. One day I will make a list to remind me of the things I have done. When I am having a bad day it would help me realize there are better battles to fight and I can do great things.

With that being said one story I would like to share about tonight and it's about a cat. Me and one of my good friends use to find stray cats all over the place last winter. We would try to save them, because they were always out by roads and it was really sad. We never actually saved one unfortunately. Tonight there was a cat on the edge of a bridge and it was just sitting there not moving. I passed it twice trying not to do anything, because I knew it probably wouldn't come to me. I got almost all the way back to my dorm and realized I had to try. I went back and it was still sitting in the same spot. I got out of the car and it just looked at me. It stayed for a few seconds and I said come here buddy. It looked at me again and ran away. At least I got it off the bridge. I just feel bad when I see an animal out in the freezing cold.

<== Not the cat I saw, but it's a cute kitty in the snow.

Song Shuffle

Yesterdays list would have been, The best days of your life (work with me on this one because I really have a lot of best day's of my life). As I started writing this list I realized I have had a lot of amazing days. So for today's list I would like to say I will not pick out the best days. Some good days were being born, my first kiss, and finding my college family :).


Today's list is songs for the soundtrack to my life (because their are so many I will put spotify on shuffle and pick ones that relate to my life in any way). Except the first one came to mind, so I will write that one down lol: (2-9 are from shuffling and picking out what relates).

1. Perfect - Pink.
2. I'm Waiting - The All American Rejects.
3. So Small - Carrie Underwood.
4. Let's Go - Calvin Harris ft. Ne-Yo.
5. Take A Little Time - Jeremy Camp.
6. Time After Time - Quietdrive.
7. The Scientist - Coldplay.
8. If It Means A Lot To You - A Day to Remember.
9. Misery Business - Paramore.
10. Who We Are - Evans Blue.

Each song has different reasons why it relates to me. They are all good songs and you should check them out if you get a chance. Next week is exam week so I have a lot of studying to do tonight. I will be up most the night. I may blog again later if I get a chance. For this blog I will keep it short though.

Funny story: Last night I was out with a christian group at a Christmas party. A few of the people there know me really well, but the rest I had just met. We were playing ninja and I lost to one of my good friends. I forgot that I wasn't with my normal group of friends and I shouted "Ball Sucker." really loud. Everyone in the room (like 25+ people) stop what they are doing and look at me. I was so embarrassed lol. The friends I was with just started cracking up. It was bad. So much for everyone thinking I was the good little christian girl haha.

<======== Btw I think this is an adorable idea and I want to do it :).

I just need to remember to actually do it lol.

What you meant to say!!!

 I know I posted a blog a few hours ago, but I got inspired. Basically I am going to take the first five statuses in my news feed on facebook. Give my translation/opinions of them. We will see what happens lol.

Status 1: "Shooters whattt!"

Me: What are you shooting? Just so you know you could have made your point with one T. I hope you have a designated driver tonight.

Status 2: "God is just soo amazing. We should be praising God for everything!"

Me: I happen to agree with you so I am going to like this status. I am assuming you are probably bored right now though and figured facebook would help you praise God and get other people to agree with you. Good status.

Status 3: "It takes seconds to say hello, forever to say goodbye, but what you leave behind is what makes it so hard to let go. <3"

Me: I'm assuming you are bored too. I like the status, except I have heard it before. It is one of the better statuses, so I will give it a thumbs up. Continue posting ma'am.

Status 4: "Seriously come through my lane with a ring from Tiffany's ring that cost well up in the thousands of dollars and pull out a food stamp card to pay for your food. You kidding me? God I wish I could say something to people."

Me: Maybe she will see your facebook and get the hint or maybe she just doesn't care. I'm glad facebook was there to support you in your anger over food stamps and rings.

Status 5: "Why do bugars exist?"

Me: This is either an inside joke, you spelled something wrong, or you like to ask really weird things. The chances that anyone will know what your talking about are slim to none. I would say click that delete status button girl.

Cryings Better than Anger

I'm starting with a list, same rules as normal. I didn't do one last time I blogged, because I was ranting. The best things that happened in the last year:

1. Getting more involved on campus.
2. Having my first job.
3. Managing to stay alive.
4. Observations for teaching.
5. Making some good friends and reconnecting with one of my best friends.
6. Growing as a person.
7. All the random fun times.
8. Starting a blog? I guess it came to mind.
9. Staying loyal to my values (mostly).
10. Being weird.

For some reason I could think of a million, but I couldn't think which ones were the best. I started getting really random toward the end. It happens though.

I'm going to miss my observation class. As I was leaving they gave me hugs and thank you notes. The whole time I was thinking "please don't do anything to make me cry guys." They were telling me how I should try to get a job at the school they are going to be going to, that way I can teach them. They were so sweet. Well look at me being sensitive lol.

<===== I found this quote/picture and I really liked it. I definitely agree with it. I like to take the calm root most the time (Not saying I haven't got bad before lol). 

Matt Locke

I'm going to me doing homework and study most the rest of my semester. I only have like a week more, so it shouldn't be to hard. It's just stressful. I might be on edge a little for the next week. I just wanted to keep things drama free and focused on exams. It does not seem to ever happen that way.

I definitely wish I had a better day yesterday. Some parts of it were good like going to Walmart with Fran and watching a really good movie. The rest was pretty sucky though. I walked into math class yesterday and everyone was talking about staying up all night studying. The girl who sits next to me walks in and I asked her if we had an exam and she said no. Then, we look at each other and go..... "Omg we had an exam." I sat there staring at it having no idea what to do. I would honestly be surprised if I got over a 50%.

I was trying to do homework all night and my guy friend would not stop. I tried to explain things to him and he wouldn't stop asking questions. I told him my feelings and what I wanted and he asked more questions. How do you further explain? I said it a million times in a million different ways. I mean I told him what I needed to say and he kept asking. I kept repeating myself and everything I said was wrong to him. I would send a sentence and get back paragraphs of him psychoanalyzing me and criticizing me and everything else. For example I called him Matt Locke (as in the detective on tv as a joke at first because he kept asking questions). He freaked out and thought I was trying to threaten him. Then when I explained it was a tv detective and it was a joke he freaked out even more saying I wasn't explaining myself. That was the lesser of the million arguments. It got so bad I ended up crying and telling him not to message me anymore. I put a crying face and he turns it around and says how he's sorry for everything and wished he could wipe away me tears. Then, he posts a nasty status on FB and starts sending me more messages about how it's my fault for not explaining myself. I kept telling him I want someone to make me happy and I don't want to fight and he just wouldn't stop. It seemed like anything I said made it worse, and I couldn't lie and tell him I would be with him.

Invisible apples

Well right now is my break in between classes. I have so much to get done today, but I still want to write my blog right now. Probably because I like to procrastinate this semester lol. Today's list is (drum roll please) Good things that happened this week. I guess I could count Sunday, but I shall try to do things that only happened yesterday :). First ten things (If I can come up with 10 because it's only Tuesday lol):

1. Getting time to take a nap.
2. Having my English homework done early and remembering to bring it to class.
3. Getting to talk to one of my sisters/besties for life last night.
4. Meeting people yesterday.
5. Getting to hang with a few old friends, plus meeting some of their new group.
6. Playing apples to apples.
7. A fun car ride to and from McDonald's.
8. Learning about paranormal stuff.
9. Having a bunch of fun conversations.
10. Being in an overall good mood about life :).

Yay for good things that happened yesterday and today. I could tell you all a million stories about yesterday, but I think I will skip that. Yesterday was definitely memorable though. This Friday and next Friday are going to be awesome. I just need to get all my school work done. If not I may not be able to go out and have fun this weekend, which would suck.

I have some decisions to make regarding this summer, which is not an easy choice to make. I guess I will see what happens with time. Any of the options would be amazing and I would make the best of them. It's going to be a fun summer. (I need to do good for the rest of this school year first though lol). 

Christmas music has never really been my thing. For some reason I have been liking a few Christmas songs lately. Keep that on the down low though. I still don't enjoy most of them, so I don't want people being like omg lets listen to Christmas music all the time because Lauren likes it now.

<===== For some reason I found this funny.... So I put it on here lol. Yepp thats how things happen lol. 

Cheese Creepin!!!!

<====== My cooking skills fit with this perfectly. Everytime I mess something up I could just add cheese (or eat cheese if that doesn't work lol). Plus I love fried things, like fries (they are fried right?). Anyway yea cheese and fried stuff should be the two main food groups in life. Plus I love Miranda Lambert, but she's not a food group. She talks about food though. Alright I will shut up and talk about something else now (which is pretty much not shutting up lol).

My list today is things that bring me joy (my favorites). This shall be interesting because I have a lot, so again first 10 that come to mind :):

1. Helping people and seeing other people happy
2. Cheese
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. Trying new things
5. Smiles and laughs
6. Showers
7. Family and friends
8. Music
9. Quotes and stuff
10. Growing as a person

I know you probably laughed at my list, which is fine because it brings me joy (even though I wouldn't know that you laughed at it). Or maybe I am stalking you, don't look behind you, or under the bed. I might be there. I'm so weird right now. I should probably take a nap or do homework. Or attempt to do homework in my sleep (not gonna work, but I could always try). Yea I'm not in a serious mood today, so we are not going to blog about anything serious. Except maybe the work serious, because serious is a serious word. SERIOUSLY!!!!!!! Alright I need a nap, goodnight. AIFNORGIDSFIOEFNIODFNIOFVKVJO :).

Books

The next list is places I want to go, but I will skip that for now. The next one is books I have read. Once again I will keep the list at 10:

1. Marley and Me (John Grogan)
2. Beach House (Danielle Steel)
3. Impossible (Danielle Steel)
4. 1st to Die (James Patterson)
5. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
6. Goodbye to Shy  (Leil Lowndes)
7. 2nd Chance (James Patterson)
8. 3rd Degree (James Patterson)
9. Men are from Mars Women are from Venus (John Grey)
10. Kiss the Girls (James Patterson)

Well if you haven't noticed I read a lot of JAMES PATTERSON. He is pretty awesome. The thing I like the most is the connections you build to the characters. There is always a really weird twist in his books. I absolutely love reading his novels.

Last night was interesting. Another guy decided he liked me (which was really awkward). But I had a good night overall. It was fun hanging with friends and pulling an all nighter again. I wish we would have stayed up till church, but unfortunately we fell asleep. It was overall a really fun night. I want to start playing Euchre more though. I miss it so much and we finally got to play list night.

Also, I apparently can be asleep and open my eyes to have a conversation with someone? I don't know how that is possible, but yea it happened lol. It was really weird.

<======== I thought this was cute lol.

DELETE!!!!

Today's list is places I have been. I have been a lot of places, so these are the few I remember:

1. Hawaii
2. Michigan (obviously)
3. Florida
4. Mexico
5. Maine
6. Texas
7. Bahamas (I think)
8. Ohio
9. Canada
10. Indiana
11. Illinois
12. Missouri
13. Alaska
14. Arizona
15.  I know I have been more places, but I can't remember lol.

Yea, I have been a few places already lol. Saw some amazing things and had some good times. Today has been an interesting day, but I won't say much about that lol.

One thing I would like to address is the facebook world. Though I enjoy having a facebook there are some things that get to me. I will not lie and say I have never deleted anyone, but I apologized right away and admitted i was wrong for doing it. Yes, I understand cleaning off your friends list and getting rid of people who you don't remember. I just don't see the point in purposely deleting someone. I would imagine it hurts on both sides. Plus, if you have someone on your profile who you are fighting with, try blocking yourself from seeing their posts. It's a whole lot better than causing the pain of deleting people and stuff. I mean we are adults and we should find more mature ways to settle differences. Though I can handle being deleted, I know how it would feel if I was another person. I was discussing it with a good friend and she shared that it hurts her a lot when people do stuff like that. It is basically the feeling that you can get thrown away like that. Are humans really that disposable that you can take them out of your life with the click of your mouse? 

Anywho enough of my rant lol. I really have to pee and I'm listening to I'm a barbie girl (thanks to my friend who wanted to listen to it). Hopefully we can get a group of people to play Euchre tonight. We have church in the morning though (hopefully we don't cause to much trouble :P).

FORT

Well today is day two of making a list. This list is of things I am grateful for (once again no judging). I have decided to limit it to 10 things, so the first 10 I think of will be written so some of them may sound funny:

1. Having an amazing family.
2. Religion.
3. Being able to stick to my values.
4. All the different people and options we have in life.
5. Grey's Anatomy.
6. Having support from the people I love.
7. Having the opportunity to follow my dreams.
8. Being understanding and having others who understand.
9. All the people who were here before us, that made life the way it is now.
10. College for making me more independent, meeting amazing people, and helping me get to where I need to go.

As I'm looking back on this list I realize most my stuff I thought of was heartfelt. Then, Grey's Anatomy is thrown on there lol. I said it was whatever came to mind though. Sense we are on the subject of being grateful. Earlier I was thinking of working on a project. It will take a while and hopefully I could get it all done before New Years. I would like to make peace with everyone and tell the people I am close to right now how much they mean to me. I have not yet decided how to do this though. Maybe through the mail and through facebook. We will see what happens. I just would like to get it done before the new year as a chance to leave differences in the past and dedicate my time to the things that matter to me.

I realized I can be really cold in relationships. As I think about it now, it has nothing to do with what the other person is doing wrong normally. It has to do with me knowing what I want my relationship to be like. I'm a hopeless romantic, but not in the way most people are. If I'm not seeing what I want in a guy that I'm dating I get really iffy about the relationship. I don't mind working things out, but I know what I want and I don't want to waist my romantic side. I'm saving all the big things until I find they guy I want to spend my life with. I guess I start to push guys out once I see that they don't fit the type of guy I want. It comes of as me being cold and mean, but that really isn't how I am. I just don't know how to react and I know its not going to work so I shut down.

<=============Btw..... I want to try this so bad.

WAKE UP!!!

I have an exam at 6, so I am trying to stay awake. Idk what is wrong with me right now, but all I want to do is sleep. I will go to take a nap and wake up 9 hours later. I have been sleeping through alarms and stuff again. I can not miss this exam, I am already nervous about this class. I don't know how I am doing in it right now. To keep me awake I figured I would write a blog.

I found an article about 50 lists your should write to lift your spirits, so I will start trying to write on in each blog. The first list will be people who inspire me (btw this is off the top of my head and in no order so no judging):

1. Mom
2. Dad (step mom and step sisters too)
3. Aunt and Uncle
4. Grandma and Grandpa
5. My cousins (especially my adorable god child)
6. Some famous people (to many to count)
7. People on inspiring shows/movies
8. My friends (sometimes lol)
9. Anyone who dares to be themselves and not let the world make them someone they aren't
10. Old friends and boyfriends (even the ones I no longer talk to)

Though I would like to say more specifically the people who inspire me, I decided to restrain from doing that. I know who i was thinking of when I wrote the list and I wanted to keep it to 10 things or people. Chances are all my good friends have inspired me in some way :).

<------ Idk why, but I found this to be really funny. You might not, but that sucks because I did lol. Yepp..... These are some funny fellows lol.

Does anyone ever find themselves writing a paper and thinking that something is funny, but when they go to laugh they write lol instead of actually laughing. I did that today in English class. I found it pretty funny. 

Dreaming

Well I decided to blog early today, because I know if I wait I will probably forget again. I wanted to tell about my dream. It was really really really weird. Apparently my professors were giving me my grades before the last few weeks to see how I was doing. My mom and aunt were there and looked at it. I was getting a 32% in my Meteorology class (which I know I'm not doing good in right now) and a C in Psychology (which I'm also not doing the best in). Somewhere in the dream I got told I was going to die (I don't remember that part I just remember that I was dying). Then my mom and aunt started to freak out at me about my grades. I stood there for a few minutes and let them be mad. After, I stopped them and told them school was not the end of the world and it was just a tool to get me where I needed to be. I continued to preach about how my time would be better spent helping the world and caring about the people around me than sitting in a classroom all day. I told them I wanted to be in a Christian school and cared nothing about the life I was living right now basically. They were shocked by my reaction. As I get older I think I'm realizing more about the true potential people have. It was really weird for me to dream about that though, because normally I'm not the type to fail classes and if I did I think I would be a lot more disappointed.

I would like to be able to rewatch this dream because I know there was more to it. 

Random thing I enjoy in life: Getting a hug from one of your students when you haven't been there in a few weeks :).

Random thing I don't enjoy: Eating something delicious and getting a really nasty tasting bite that makes you not want to eat it anymore.

Song of the day: Jesus Freak

What in the world is going on?

I have not wrote a blog in a while (according to my friends blog anyway). I guess I will write one now then lol. I have a lot of things I can and probably will rant about at some point (maybe in this blog or later). I slept almost all day, so staying up for a while is not a problem. I just need to make sure to take my quiz after this.

I had a old friend come up and spend the night last night.It was interesting watching him try to learn swing dancing (which I need to start doing). Plus playing tag as we tried to find each other at the community college near by was interesting to. My night was definitely an interesting one.

PASSION OF THE CHRIST is a movie that I encourage people to watch. When I was little by Dad told me he was going to see it and encouraged me to watch it when I got older. I am definitely glad I waited till now to watch it. I cried for most of the movie. Seeing people in pain (especially if they did nothing wrong) is not exactly my strongest moment. Yea it's a really good movie though.

ELLEN is awesome and always has been. I don't have time to watch her shows, so sometimes I watch the videos on Youtube. The ones where she is scaring people are really funny. I suggest looking some of them up because they are going to make your day better :). 

I will make one rant, it's kinda about being innocent lol. I have heard a lot of stuff from friends and others, yet I happen to still be innocent. Does anyone still get caught off guard by people being people. I mean like by the actions they take. I will be sitting there and think ohhh..... there is not much they could do to surprise me anymore. But something happens that has never even crossed you mind. You get a text or see something that just makes you go "What in the world is going on?" You feel like your in a really messed up dream, but it's actually real lol.

I have a lot to do before classes end this semester. There are a few weeks left. Hopefully I can get everything done that I need to. I'm looking forward to hanging with the group tomorrow and saturday. I have a million applications to fill out, papers to write, and exams to take. 

Just wanna sleep!!

Well I have been home for the first time in forever. Thanksgiving was not bad. Idk if it's still the concussion or what. I have been feeling like I'm dying the past few days. I just wanna go to sleep, but apparently I can't because I don't feel good. This needs to get better ASAP. I would go to the doctor again, but I don't wanna have to call in for work. I already called off last weekend because I went to the hospital for the concussion.

I got to spend sometime with my cousins and god child today, so that was nice. We went to see clash of the guardians or something. I almost left before it because I didn't feel good, but somehow I managed to make it through the movie. I miss spending time with the little ones. They are so adorable.

Well no sleep means...... Random fact time. In middle school I was on the basketball team for the year. Most the people on the team were part of the popular crowd and I wasn't. I was kinda shy and didn't really care about the drama. Anyway I got passed the ball during a game and I wanted to prove myself. For those of you who know me it is not uncommen for me to have dumb moments. I wasn't paying attention and decided to try to go for the wrong hoop :P.

 <------- Just cute lol.

Not perfect

Well for starters I still have a concussion. I figured out I am not the most responsible person when I have a concussion. Needless to say, the things I would normally do are not the same as the things I do when I have a concussion. I'm starting to see things clearer now though.

I went on a prayer walk today and I really loved it. The people I went with seemed like an awesome group. As you walked it was like a conversation with each other as well as with God. We walked around campus and I took the lead. Today was pretty inspiring.... when I had the ability to focus and stay awake anyway. 

One thing I would like to discuss is being yourself. In today's world Christians are labeled as hypocrites and all these bad things. I will admit that I am not perfect and I think the true problem is that Christians don't dare to say they don't have everything together. Religion is not about being perfect, but it is about accepting that you are not. I accept others for the people they are and I accept myself for my flaws. My life is about becoming better and trying to improve. With that being said, each time I blog I would like to answer some questions about me and my life in general.

Yes I make mistakes daily and I have just as many challenges to face as any other person. Yet I think it's important to do your best every day. Make a difference, make a change, at least make something out of the time you have on earth. 

<====== If you look at the world and at life as a beautiful place, you will discover the things that make it beautiful. Look at the good in everything else. This is a challenge and I would love to look at the world like this everyday. 

BELIEVE in something bigger than you!!!!!!!!!!

I'm Dangerous.

          IMMA DIE!!!! Idk what it is, but the past week I have been accident prone. Mostly at work. I have got at least five cuts. One of the cuts is really deep and I should probably go get it checked out. It doesn't look like its going to heal :/. Today I am almost done with my shift and I stand up. Well guess where my head ends up. Right into the metal door of the overhead freezer. My manager looks at me funny as I stumbled for a second and try not to face plant the floor..... HE THOUGHT I WAS DANCING!!!! I was like no I hit me head lol. Sense I was distracted by work I didn't notice how hard I actually hit me head.  I have a feeling I might have a concussion, which  means I shouldn't go to sleep. On the down side I have work again at 12 tomorrow. Which means I need to go to sleep. Ugh this choice is a hard one. The bump on my head is like the size of an egg. 

        My Friday night was pretty awesome. I hung out with an amazing group of friends. Hopefully they had fun as well :). TWILIGHT was amazing, but I kept almost crying. The mother and daughter scenes were getting to me. Giving up your daughter and/or being scared for your daughters life would be a terrible feeling. I just kinda related to Bella. The slide show at the end got to me too. I guess it was just so sweet and romantic lol. I'm a sucker for romantic stuff..... just keep it on the down low :P. Most people probably wouldn't label me the romantic type.

       A few big things have happened sense I last blogged. I decided to hand in my 2 weeks notice at work..... That is if work doesn't kill me first. I felt like its not where I belong right now and my heads in other places. I worked at my old place and loved it. It was about brightening peoples days and I felt like I was making a difference. I want to have that feeling again. I want to do volunteer stuff and hopefully once I get out of college I will be able to go on a volunteer trip to another state. I would be gone for 4 months at the least. 

       I have almost completed my observation class and I feel that I will miss it. Rushing around everyday will be over though. As much as I loved observing I know I didn't have the time for it with school. Now I will have more time to get my school work done.

        Though I have lots more to say I will save it for tomorrow. Screw concussions, I will be going to sleep. I'll be fine in the morning. I'm normally playing with when it comes to my health, so I'm not worried. It's just another day of being me :P.

Long Nights

Well I haven't blogged in a while. I was trying to blog everyday, but I got distracted (which should not be surprising to anyone). A lot has happened since my last post. I don't have time to talk about most of it.

Olan Rogers on youtube is funny. LOOK HIM UP. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZO9tMetxno I have only seen a few of his videos. Watch the one I posted. You will love it.

Last night I went out with awesome people. I was having a night where everything I said came out wrong, so they will probably joke with me about it forever. We were at a swing dancing thing and I was watching. We were talking about what guy we would dance with. What I decide to say is, "I would do all of them." Later, someone said whip.... Needless to say I was zoned out and said, "Whipps? I like whips!!!" Ash was texting people on my phone and asked what I wanted her to say (she was talking really loud), I told her she was being loud (which had nothing to do with that he was texting about), she goes "you want me to text him that?"

Jacobi and Hope came up. They are two very interesting people. Hope was crabby, which was interesting lol. I miss them and can't wait to hang with them again. I got stuck in a locker which was interesting.

I have been doing homework, work, and observations pretty much all the time. Except when I have time to go hang with people for a few hours. I think I might become an E-Board member too. That will be interesting and really time consuming. We will see what happens.

<--------I do this a lot lately!!!! Whoops lol.

Clothes in the Drier and It's Not a Date

<============ First off I love this movie. I have not seen it for a while and I feel like I should watch it soon. Plus this is me in the morning.

I went to see sinister today and it was a very interesting movie. It was what I did for Halloween. The rest of my day has been exams, observation and studying.

I left my clothes in the drier all day and guess where they are right now...... Still in the drier. Yes I love to piss people on campus off. I hope they all have driers lol. Exams can make me mean :P.

Can't wait for Cobi and Hope to come see me. These besties are amazing and I love and miss them. Hopefully Hope doesn't get into any flower this time.

According to Hope when someone has a bad day I should bake them Cupcakes? And we argue over what is considered a date. This girl..... She's crazy <3.

Wish me luck on meteorology.... I'm off to continue studying. This was a really short break lol.

Don't love me... I'm Busy!!

Look I understand people would like to confess your true feelings. BLAH BLAH BLAH.... YADA YADA!!!! I get it. This week people keep trying to confess how they feel about me.  Why must you all do this to me at the same time. I do not have time for sleep or food or anything. When I'm taking breaks from school and work and homework I like to blog and hang with people and nap and pinterest. There is no confessing feelings to old lovers or talking about feelings involved in that lol. Please pick better times to confess your love. Half the time I forget to even respond when you choose busy times. 

Plus if you broke up with me and then you decide to confess your love you should probably wait till its in person. Then we might be able to talk about things lol.

 <====== Next person to say this to me in a not friend context if I'm busy will get the response: Hold that thought and tell me when I have time.

PAY ATTENTION

It is the night before my exam and I decided to do some full out studying. I just realized I am skrewed. I NEED TO PAY ATTENTION MORE. I did not focus in class. I'm terrible at focusing on anything lately. I'm my break from studying, so I don't have much time. I'm gonna need a lot of luck and praying if I manage to pull off a good grade on this exam. RAWR!!!!

My other topic of discussion today will be about something. I don't know how to describe it so I'm not going to label it lol. There are times in life where you get really close to people and accept them for who they are. Then they do something completely out of character and you don't know how to react. Well I can accept what you did, but it makes me want to rethink who I thought you were. Anyone following me? I don't like rethinking who people are though. I just get confused by stuff like that lol. It's not my place to scold people for being dicks. I do feel you should take responsibility for what you did and try to make the situation better. Btw, that does not mean apologizing to me, because you didn't do anything to me. You should apologize to the person you did it to. If I'm acting weird around you, it's just because idk how to respond to you, nor do I care about your apologies. People bro lol. (Yes, my rant is relevant right now and you may know who it's about. Lol.)

<====== DID YOU KNOW IT'S NOW HALLOWEEN!!!!! Now back to studying.

Flat Tires

 <------- I love this quote. Yet it is very wrong in one way. I can go places on a flat tire. I have actually gone a lot of places with a flat tire and I didn't even know it :P. If you would like to know this story and don't already ask me about it.

I have so much homework to do, so I am going to keep this short. I have not had the best day, but I am fine with that. There is a lot of things I still need to figure out in life. I know the answers will come and I will end up where I am meant to be.

The more observing I do in class, the more I am looking forward to teaching. It will be one of the craziest and probably best things I do in my life. Yay for life lol. I hope everyone is finding their way and has a good day.

Remember if you are a flat tire..... you need to change it (or something like that lol).

*Hiccup*

 My friend did manage to wake me up for pancakes this morning lol. They were yummy, then I went back to sleep. I worked all night, which was actually interesting today. A lot of funny stuff happened, some of which is to awesome to share on here :P. I hiccuped for about an hour and couldn't stop. That was pretty funny and

I laughed through like half of work. Costumes were funny too :P. 

I got some interesting texts today. I really hope some of the people texting me were drunk. If not then I don't know how I can even react to them..... 

Door decorating tomorrow then work. It should be fun. I have so much homework to do right now though. Hopefully I can get it all done. 

<------- Why thank you for pointing out the we are all beautiful. You Mr. Tree are also beautiful. You look very tree like :P.

"Ships in the night, You keep passing me by"

Well, I went on a late night adventure and I'm gonna post this quickly before I go to bed. I did some homework before I went out. Tomorrow I will be doing a lot of homework and same on Sunday. My friend is gonna try to wake me up at 8:30 to get pancakes (good luck lol).

Last night was a fun night of truth or dare, quelf, and some other random crazy stuff. I got dared to jump out at someone and say Simon says. The guy I jumped out at turned out to be pretty awesome and we all ended up talking a little bit. Waving and exchanging numbers was also involved for some dares. It was really fun :).

Apparently I am once again "the matchmaker." It's whatever. I can pick out who would get a long and be cute together. On that note I can not determine how things will go between people. If I set them up and it does not work, I have no control over that.

I got to watch Grey's Anatomy today which I absolutely love. That show is amazing and I want to find my Derek :). I'm ready to find that guy I can spend my life with and I'm excited about it. I already have my best friend(s).

Me and Ash throwing things at Frans window to wake her up was pretty funny. Also, I like that I have my best friend to talk to again. She loves to send me a million things a day and I like looking at all the random crud she sends me.

 <-------------- Song of the day: Like Ships In the Night. It has nothing to do with Grey's Anatomy. But I figured to save time I would find a picture that mixed the song and show :). I absolutely love this picture.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nCXekqiqNo

My Silly Life

     Well for starters today and last night were interesting. Bible Study was awesome, like normal. Then we went to McDonald's which was interesting. I went to a recruitment meeting for Phi Sigma Sigma. That was quite interesting. We played a Grey's Anatomy game, but no one was paying attention lol. I hung out with a friend from Bible Study most the night and we worked on English homework/talked. The meeting with my RA went good and I am definitely applying to be one :).

   One thing that I still have a track record of is people telling me a lot of stuff when I first meet them. It happens all the time. I feel like this will be a theme for the rest of my life. It's not a bad thing, it's pretty interesting actually. I just don't understand it :P.


Lastly, the dumb moments and funny moments for the last day or so:
   <------This is the story of my life everyday. Including today of course. 

 ~Dropping people off at their dorms and Kelly is in the front seat. I have a 2 door car. Lisa is behind her and says she needs to get out. Kelly goes says ok and sits there for about a minute. Finally someone goes are you going to let her out? lol.

~Someone was at the bottom of the stairs and I was like one from the bottom. I was trying not to run into her, so I kinda like slipped on the stairs which somehow I landed safely at the bottom. I thought I was going to run into her so I tried to step back onto the stair. I fell on my butt, and was just kinda sitting on the stair for a minute as me and everyone else laugh.

~Me and Fran are driving and I passed a good parking spot. I throw the               car in reverse and speed backwards to park in it. Kelly was watching us and I didn't know she was there. Needless to say they were laughing at me.



 <----- This is my song of the day. It's Holding On by Jamie Grace. Everyone should check it out when they get a chance :).

"Your Dumb"

      For starters I woke up feeling like crud this morning. I got ready to go to observation and class. Then I called in and went back to sleep. I feel better now.... But it was a sit home and do homework type of day. I actually didn't mind doing homework all day, because I didn't want to get up.

Tonight I have a lot to do..... which includes venturing over to the education building. Though I did homework all day I still have a lot more to do.

   I had a dream that involves me and a best friend talking about our Grandmas (which made me think of mine today). That's a whole rush of emotions that include most of my childhood. I know she is in a good place now though :).

   A had a twinky moment today..... I have a belt buckle that says YOUR DUMB. I was rushing to go get some stuff from the dollar store and I put it on upside down. My friend laughed at me for it lol. It was pretty funny I will admit.

  Off to my busy night and hopefully I wont start feeling sick again. Have a good night everyone.

I'm not yet dead

      Well for starters Paranormal Activity 4 is not scary at all. It was actually pretty funny. Then Mike got scared because he tripped over the step on the way out. Anyway it was a pretty lame movie and I only jumped once. 

      I can not cook still.... and I really want to learn.... But I can't even make Ramen Noodles. I failed at that today. I managed to fix it lol. I put cheese and taco seasoning on it. I have a million people telling me they will teach me to cook. But someone needs to actually teach me.

    I'm becoming a speed reader, which is actually pretty fun and useful. Thank you English class for teaching me these random things that actually work. Though most the class thinks all this stuff is dumb, I enjoy it.

FUNNY THING: Me: "When's the due date?"  Friend: "What?" Me: "Whoops not what I meant." 

    

My Day

   It's today again. Not really again I guess, but yea lol. Just another day on my long list of never ending days. I observed, went to class, slept, hung with Travis, and went to bowling (where I talked to Tweety Bird for a while and left). Two of my best friends texted about some interesting stuff...... Yet when I decide to take over she doesn't text me back :P. LOL. Such is life.                                                                                 

I'm very bad at making to do lists and keeping a planner up to date. I need to do both for a class and am so far behind that it's not even funny. I need to catch up on a whole month of activities, when I can barely remember what I did yesterday.

Facebook is good for a lot of things, but it has also become depressing. Over the summer I didn't go on much, because I didn't want to know what people had to say. Going down a million posts about drama and other dumb or sad stuff is pretty lame.

In other news it's raining..... Speaking of which I need to start working on my meteorology weather report. Now off to read Danielle Steel for an English assignment.

Home?

I worked late today.... and when I got off I had a message from my amazing Mom (who I call Mummalu). She left me a voice mail and two texts. One text was saying how much she missed me and the other was of my dog. I miss them both very much. I realized I have not been home in forever. I had a text from my good friend who said how much she missed me, too.

<<<<<<---------------------This is my baby Freckles. I love him.

I have been so busy up here I didn't have time to think about how much I actually miss home. I called my mom back when I got home and realized the only time I may be able to come home before I finish the semester is for Thanksgiving. Even when I go home for that it might only be over night.

Being away from home is something that everyone needs to get use to at some point, but I wish I had time to stay connected with everyone.

Anyway on a different note, I need to figure out what classes to take next semester and where I'm living for the summer. Plus I need to apply to be an RA next year. Here Comes the Boom is a good movie. I went to see it with Travis and the Kroger peoples.

I hope yall are having a great night/day/whatever.

Influence/Leading

We must work hard to reach our goals in life. Once we set our goals no one can stop us from achieving them, unless we let them. Today we get side tracked from what we really want. We listen to friends, family, and teachers. Being a true leader and a true person is not who you can influence, but those people who listen to someones goals and tell them to keep going. While everyone is shoving these peoples dreams into the ground, you pick them up and tell them they can do it.

I have always had a realist view on life and that will probably never change. Yet today my view shifted, because realistically if you want something bad enough you don't need another person telling you you can't. YOU CAN BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE.

Set those goals and stick to them. Prove the world wrong. Don't let anyone discourage you. If you are worried about what to tell people, then tell them nothing. There is nothing to tell, show them. Show people who you are and what you can achieve.

That was my rant for today lol. On a side note: DON'T FACE THE OPPOSITE WAY WHEN SOMEONE IS TALKING. I don't mind if you are writing or not paying attention. Just don't turn around for more than a minute or two when someone is talking. RUDE!!! Thank you :).

Air One and Danielle Steel

During my full day of classes and doing homework, I came up with a few ideas of blogs I want to do. Those I will save for a day when I have more time.

I have to be up at 7:30 tomorrow to observe, than I have leadership training :).

First of Air One is my favorite at the moment. It's a radio station by where I live, that plays all uplifting music. Not only does it play hear, but you can find it in many places. If you have some time you should check it out (fair warning it is a christian station, but it's artists like skillet and superchick). It can make any day better for me.  Check it out: http://www.air1.com/

The other topic of review is Danielle Steel. For those of you who have never heard of her she is one of the best romance writers ever. Her books seem to have the same story line, with different events and characters of course. Right now I'm reading Kaleidoscope, which is about a soldier who becomes an actor who marries an amazing woman. Though there is a surprising turn, which you will need to read to find out :). Check it out here: http://www.daniellesteel.net/

BTW!!!!!

Finding My Way

Today I had a lot to do. I meet up with my mom and was really happy to see her.... So I treated her to a movie. Which she was really happy about and that makes me happy.

Hung with Travis and bought a belt. Which looks like this



I think it goes awesome with my belt buckle :).  Now I gotta remember to look into these two games I really want to get.

I had a great night hanging with the girls then it was home for relaxing and homework. Classes tomorrow will be interesting, especially because I still need to do my homework :/.

Lastly, I think I made a decision that will surprise a heck of a lot of people, but that is for me to know and them to find out. Hope everyone had a great day.

Ohhhh....

I'm at work the other day and I had an interesting moment. Out of everything that happened the other day I don't know why this moments stuck with me.... but it did.

Outside there was a group of people standing in a circle and it looked like a bible study group. I was focused on other things when the girl I was standing next to pointed it out.

At first I thought that's really cool. Then, my co-worker says, "I would never go to church."

I didn't know what to say, so all that came out was, "Oh" as I looked at her. 

She looks at me and continues to tell me about how God had never been there for her when she needed him and how she wants nothing to do with him. In my mind all I could think of is what do you mean he was never there? Did you ever go to him or believe in him? What did you need him to do for you?

Though a million things were going through my mind all I could respond with was, "oh." As I turned around to do other things.

As I worked side by side with this girl, all I could think was what happened that God couldn't help you with? My mind kept thinking about how God is there to guide us and help us through the things in our lives when we turn to him. He doesn't do things for us, but he gives us the tools and attitude to be able to achieve anything (plausible of course). I'm not the type to press my beliefs on others, because it is a personal choice. I just wish her the best in life, but I can't help think about her words.

Naps of Failure

First off I NEED to start getting more sleep during the night. I can't function during the day without some sleep at night. It's fine if I get a little sleep here and there. I haven't been sleeping so little that I hit the overly tired stage, but I haven't been sleeping enough to be awake.

I come home from one activity really tired, so I take a "short nap." Problem being I end up sleeping through the next thing I need to do. I wake up go to get out of bed and my body just doesn't want to. I end up sleeping through my top priority things.

This needs to stop today, because I need to go to all my classes and I need to focus on school. I know I'm not gonna stop being tired, but I don't care if I fall asleep in class, I will go. PROMISE TO MYSELF: NO MORE NAPS RIGHT BEFORE CLASS for the rest of the semester.

Oh no.... It's THE FACE!

Have you ever been out with friends and having a good time. Everyone is drinking and your friend has had a little to much. Everything is good then all the sudden....... THE FACE!!!! Everyone is smiling then your friends smile just drops. You being the more sober one is left to deal with it.

Sometimes I think it would be fun just to make the face back and see what happens. Like I mean they are drunk and it probably doesn't matter what you do. If they are that sad drunk they will pick anything and everything to cry about.

Things people cry about though are ridiculous: Boys, Old friends, people hating them, someones comments, stuff that happened in middle school, someone being mean? It's just crazy.

My personal favorite is your not taking me serious or your not listening to me. They start crying and by that point you are so busy trying not to laugh, you do stop taking them serious.

Moral of the story if you get THE FACE.... Don't drink so much or you better have some pretty good friends to deal with it lol.

The Other Me's!!!!

I have a lot of friends and a lot of people I consider best friends.... but there are those people in life that you just know will stick around. Those people that become your other half and no matter how far away they are or how long you go without talking they will still have that place.

There are friends that become parts of you. These parts bind you to them, to life, and to the person you know you can be. Parts that make you look for meaning and make you want to be better. Parts that simply define who you are and why you were put here.

Would you be you without those parts? Would you be you if they were never there? Would you know when to walk away with your parts.... or leave your parts with the other person when you don't need them?

These questions make friendships hard. You are bound to these people and these things and you will never forget them.

I may be hated or loved by these people that hold the pieces. Yet they will forever and always hold the pieces. They have earned that place in my heart and in my life. No matter what they have done, I would love them unconditionally, for they are not just people. They are the pieces that have held my life together and made me who I am.

These friends, enemies, acquaintances, are so much more than that. THEY ARE PEOPLE WHO HOLD MY LIFE AND MY LOVE!!!!

THIS DAY!

College is an adventure unlike any other. As I make my way through my third year, I continue my learning. Today I slept through my first two classes. I am exhausted, but I know I have to keep going and trying my best.

The daily debate is what parts of my life to cut out. I would like some guidance, but don't know who to ask. I can't organize anything right now. My work schedule is unpredictable. I have observations in the morning, school during the day, work or friends in the afternoon, and homework at night. Sleep is one of the last things on my mind, until I realize I can't get out of bed in them morning.

I don't have time for the friends I have now, but I find myself wanting to meet more people. Maybe I just want to be understood by people. How can I do this if I don't even have time for me right now?
All I know at this moment, my life is on a rocket and I have to steer it. These moments are not the ones I will be looking back on when I'm 80. I need to find those moments, those life goals, and that uncontrollable passion for something or someone.

Who do I want to be? Where do I want to go?

Teaching is what I have always wanted to do. But this is where I need to prove my worth. Show I can be someone my students will look up to. Do something more and achieve something more. That's where I'm doing and that is where I need to be. I want to grow in faith and love, forgive, and smile with honesty and compassion.

This is who I am and I'm trying to guide my future.